Fear

I feel like I want to throw up.

I’m putting together a video of Jamie Wilson singing a new song in a small living room. I chose to give it some punchy color, but keep the frills out for the most part since it’s pretty much just a simple visual of Jamie singing in a brown room. I felt like the color was good and plus, she liked the brown… even mentioned it during planning.

However, if we rewind and look at when I pulled the piece in to start editing it… I knew I wanted to make it black & white. I even sent a text at 1:00am saying as much, because it just felt right.

But then I woke up the next day and surpressed it… I stuck to my plan to keep it in color, worked hard on it and sent it out for review, happy with what I made

Then I get the text… “What happened to the B&W?”

Ugh. Now I feel like throwing up.

What happened? Well… what happened is that I got scared. Scared that no one gets black & white. Scared that people will think that I can’t color so I go the easy route (even though good B&W is 10 times harder.) Scared that someone might not hire me because I only do B&W. Scared I was being selfish because I love B&W.

Fear & Uncertainty. Shouldn’t there be a pill to fix it? A drug that will make it all better?

I’m going to go throw up now.