Anxiety. I don’t get it much… I’ve learned processes and ways of Getting Things Done that remove tons of emotional overhead. Even simple things like making a to-do list will keep me emotionally stable in the midst of having 473 things to do. As long as I’m moving forward, checking things off, I’m good.
However, when my creativity is put on a deadline, anxiety starts to creep in. I get distracted by the other things I “have to do” and as time keeps ticking my anxiety keeps building and starts to crush the part of me that wants to create. It’s a downward spiral that is worse than a “Catch 22” as it speeds rapidly towards depression.
The well practiced movements of relentless creating we’ve developed in the past kick in and slow that spiral. On a good day they might even pull you out of it, but on a bad day they just prolong the touch of failure. I just want to hide away and not think about art, myself, my family, my job, my friends.. nothing… I just want to check out of life for about 5 years until no one remembers.
The answer is to forget about trying to work harder. Instead… sit down, block out any distractions, and fall in love with what you’re creating. That’s not some emotional pull to inspire you or idealize art. Far from it. You have to re-orient your to do list towards finding the Love in what you are doing and scrap everything else.
Love is the most powerful emotion we’ve been given and it will wreak havoc on anything in it’s path. Depression, sadness, fear, and even that bitch anxiety… will fall apart when pitted against the Love of what you believe in and what you are making.